SIXes (DOT DOT DOT)

(Update:  Blogger is struggling.  I had to re-post this, and lost your comments.  Sorry!)

Six months married!  I can't believe it.  The six months before our wedding were slower than  
m-o-l-a-s-s-e-s, and these months just flew.  Before you know it it'll be six years, then sixteen, then sixty and so forth.  Wonderful.

Our big celebration (slash coincidental timing) will be a move to Arizona.  Ben will be a Cost Analyst/Engineer on the mine out there.  More on that later (after I put in my two weeks...today).  Yippee!
SO...
Six reasons I love my hub:
  • He comes up with the most witty things to say, right off the bat.  I don't understand how his mind can come up with something like that so quickly while mine is still processing what was originally said.
  • He's smart, confident, and a lot of other things, so I feel like he will always be a great provider for our family.
  • He appreciates my love for super high heels instead of thinking I'm just absolutely ridiculous.
  • He likes sports, but is not obsessed with them.  (I hear that the husband-ESPN competition is not that ideal.)
  • He loves to read.  We spend hours of our time together doing just that.
  • I have never met somebody so motivated and not lazy.
  • He makes a breakfast and packs a lunch for me every morning without fail.  
  • He got me hooked on Monsters and then stopped drinking them because of his diet.  lol.  After his accident he started drinking them a little bit again.  Thank goodness.
  • He is always positive.  He never has bad days, or you can never tell at least.
  • We have great communication which I'm grateful to him for.
  • He still married my goofy mug even while he was ridiculously drugged and in pain.
  • Sorry, I lost count.  Six is kinda a small number.

    Six adjustments during our "honeymoon phase" of being married:
    • Grocery shopping.  I like to meander and hit the frozen foods last.  Ben starts on one side and goes down the isles, hitting the center frozen food isles when he gets to them, but then he's so fast that it doesn't matter.  Proudly, we have compromised.
    • Making time for our many families, especially on holidays.  It's fun on those crazy days we do.
    • Combining our accounts.  No matter what those accounts say, there is just no longer any justification for buying three pair of shoes at one time.  Well shoot.  ;)
    • I am a bad bed maker.
    • Eating.  Food is a low priority.  I've always skipped meals and then made up for it by eating at weird times.  BUT now I have to remember that my poor husband will wither away if we don't eat.  Can't put it off for two more hours anymore.
    • Laundry.  Whoa how my new undies make so much more laundry than my old ones.  And then combine ours and WOW.  I guess two loads every other week won't cut it anymore.
      Below is an excellent article on adjusting to marriage.  It's full of some great insight that I thought I'd post it on my blog so we will always have it!  The article can be found in the LDS Church News at the url listed below.

      How to smoothly adjust to marriage

      Published: Saturday, Feb. 11, 1995
      http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/26316/How-to-smoothly-adjust-to-marriage.html
      My husband and I have been married for a delightful eight months. Here's what we've learned so far:

      • Keep an eternal perspective. Real commitment plays a large role in successfully adjusting to marriage.- Remember the peace found in knowing that God has sanctified this holy union.
      • Realize faulty communication and selfish goals cause rough spots in relationships. Remember that his/her goals are just as important as yours.
      • Begin to work together toward common goals before you get married.
      • Learn to compromise. You're both on the same side. The key in finding happiness is when you see that the other person is happy.
      • Remember that becoming at one spiritually will help you in every aspect of your new life. That's why studying the scriptures and praying together are so important.
      • Learning the gospel of Jesus Christ and then living it together is an ongoing process in achieving a happy and an everlasting marriage. - Sally Jones, Lima, Ohio
      *****
      How we did it:
      Make commitment
      Perhaps one of the greatest adjustments in marriage is the realization that marriage partners are different in many ways. No two people are the same - even in the same family with the same parental teachings; no two will come out without some differences.

      A good attribute to develop is that of commitment. If this was developed through the growing-up years, it will already be there in great measure at the time of marriage.

      If you make the decision to be married, you should also make the commitment to enjoy making it work and find ways to make it become celestial. This will help bring peace through any troubling times.
      - Virginia Terribilini, Penngrove, Calif.


      Set goals
      During our honeymoon, we shared our journals, the scriptures, our dreams for the future and made goals for fulfilling those dreams. As we remained committed to our goals, we found that the Lord blessed as He promised.

      Early in our marriage, I spent two hours commuting daily. More often than not when I returned home, my husband, who was a busy medical student, had dinner waiting for me and the house clean. These and many other acts of kindness made me want to do something nice for him. It started a cycle from which we received the Lord's blessings, one of them being a smooth adjustment to marriage.
      - Melodie Head, Rexburg, Idaho


      Be consistent
      "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest." (Eccl. 9:9.)

      Most marriages begin joyfully and would adjust smoothly if participants would be consistent with kind and loving consideration for each other regardless of problems.

      Each partner should realize a responsibility to keep their relationship harmonious, selfless and strong. We go into marriage, partners with God, to establish a stable foundation on which to launch a well-adjusted family.
      - Lois Dahlberg, Tacoma, Wash. 


      Let emotions cool
      Adjusting to marriage reduces down to just two facts. Number one: You must have effective communication. Number two: You must have total internal personal self-control.

      The very moment that within that communication you feel to somehow demean, demoralize, run down, accuse, pass judgment upon, excuse yourself, lie to, vent your anger on or take your spite out on your spouse, you must cease instantly. Simply let feelings and emotions cool off. Then say gently, "I love you now as in the beginning and will forever love you."

      The rewards will be eternal and the daily routine of life will smooth to a constant secure feeling of love, peace and caring. All that seemed like such insurmountable problems will slowly and quietly fade away into nothingness.
      - Russell W. Hansen, Rigby, Idaho 


      Prophet's advice
      On March 25, 1988, my friend and I attended a session at the Jordan River Temple. This was how we started my last day of bachelorhood. The temple session started slightly late due to the arrival of President Ezra Taft Benson and his wife, Flora.

      I can still see the tender care of love he showered on his beloved as they were going through this session. I received an undeniable confirmation of true celestial marriage. As the session was ending, I thought, "I would like to ask what their secret is."

      As I entered the celestial room, I shook hands with Sister Benson and then President Benson. President Benson asked me if I was getting married in the near future.

      I answered, "Yes, sir, tomorrow."

      President Benson then told me: "Always treat your wife as if you were in the presence of the Lord. And remember if you ever feel like having an argument, stop and ask yourself if it is worth destroying your marriage over. My wife and I have never had an argument in all of our years."

      No marriage will last if you do not discuss your different points of view, but if you will follow President Benson's counsel, you will find your marriage will grow stronger every day.
      - Bob Steinike, Salt Lake City, Utah 


      Learn to compromise
      When my husband and I were married in June 1989, I knew there would be many adjustments. I learned not to expect the perfect marriage, and to accept and compromise a lot of things. The biggest thing for us was communication - and still is. Four and one half years have passed, and I am still learning new things about my husband.
      - Amanda Garcia, Chino, Calif.


      Be best friends
      We were married seven months ago. We continue to have an open and honest relationship. We discuss everything from finances, child rearing, health, family relations and goal setting. The following helps:
      • Pray and read scriptures together.
      • Discuss and make decisions together.
      • Tell each other how much we love each other.
      • Use the words "we," "ours," instead of "me," "mine."
      • Pay tithing even though we have had financial difficulties. The Lord continues to bless us.
      • Continue to be best friends.
      Marriage is not always easy. It requires dedication, prayers, perseverance, patience, love and forgiveness.
      - Richard and Hayley Huefner, Salt Lake City, Utah 

      *****
      How to checklist:
      1 Keep eternal perspective; commit to your marriage.
      2 Live gospel; pray, study scriptures, attend temple.
      3 Work on common goals; be patient, learn to compromise.
      4 Be kind and express love to each other; be best friends.
      *****

      That's all!!  We are soooo excited.  :)

      10 comments:

      1. i loved this, all SO true!! and the undies/laundry... that is one of my biggest adjustments still, never ending!

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      2. i needed this today christy. thank you!!!

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      3. Congrats to Ben!! I'm jealous you will be in such nice/warm weather :) A visit just might be necessary! Don't worry, we've been married for 3 years and are still adjusting hahaha.

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      4. I love this, I have a friend who recently found out she was getting divorced, and when there was still a chance of making it work I showed her all the articles the prophets have put out about making marriages work! I wish I would have found this one! It rocks!

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      5. so you move to AZ when I leave, bummer dude!!! We will have to meet (even though i feel like I know you and already love you to pieces) when I am out there. That is very exciting and I am super happy for you guys. P.S. you have inspired me and I look up to you and Ben so much. I want what you two have, its so cute and I want that too!!! So happy for you two!!! Say hi to Ben for me :-)

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      6. I had to repost this post so I lost all your comments! I promise I didn't erase them. Blogger seems to be struggling this week big time.

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      7. Thanks for the nice comment girl! You are so cute and I love reading your blog!! Hope all is well with you, you look so happy! :)

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      8. Such a cute post :). Happy 6 months!!!

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      9. Loved reading this! Thanks for posting it.

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      10. There are very few things in life more impressive and important to me than being in, and also witnessing happy, strong, faithful, fulfilling, righteous marriages. You and Ben definitely are achieving on of those!!! I have loved watching your beautiful relationship unfold through your blog. Thank you for sharing!

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